We’re here to support you and your family throughout your journey towards healthy relationships.
That means we have created safe spaces across Edinburgh & Lothians and online for you to get the support and resources that you and your family need to nuture healthy and happy relationships.
Children’s rights comes first
You may have heard people talking about human rights and childrens rights but are not sure what this actually means. Human rights make sure that all people, including children and young people, are treated fairly and can reach their full potential. Children have additional rights to adults as they need extra protection. These additional rights were set out by the United Nation Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) and include important things like:
- Children should not be discriminated against.
- Children have a right to life.
- Children have a right to education.
- Children have a right to play.
- Children can have a say in matters that affect them and their views should be taken into account.
- The decisions made about children should be in their best interests.
All our work is grounded in the principles and provisions in the United Nations Convention of the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), as well as the Children (Scotland) Act 2020, the Promise and the Getting It Right for Every Child Framework (GIRFEC).
We use the SHANARRI ‘child wellbeing outcomes’ to help us identify goals and hopes for you and your families:
SHANARRI child wellbeing outcomes:
- SAFE: Consistent and positive contact with parents/siblings/carers
- HEALTHY: Emotional and developmental needs met
- HEALTHY: Improved family relationships
- HEALTHY: Reduction in impact of trauma/bereavement/loss
- NURTURED: Experiences love, emotional warmth and attachment
- NURTURED: Well developed sense of identity and belonging
- ACTIVE: Positively engaged in play
- RESPECTED: Involved in the planning and decision making process
- INCLUDED: Listened to and views taken seriously
Once we have identified your child(ren)’s hopes and goals we review these outcomes approximately every 12 weeks with you and them. This helps us identify where things are getting better and sometimes where things are getting worse. It also helps us to reflect on all the positive steps that have been made and focus our support in the future.
If you’d like to find out more about Children’s rights, Parent Club have produced this useful booklet for parents, carers and family members: The UNCRC Rights of the Child Booklet: Your Guide to Children’s Rights and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
#KeepThePromise
Family Journeys have made a commitment and a promise to children, young people, and adult care experienced individuals and families.
#KeepThePromise is a cross-party Scottish Government commitment to ensure that positive change is meaningfully achieved for care experienced and edge of care children and young people.
Help for Parents and Carers
Changes in your family can be difficult for everyone. To help you navigate your way through what can be a daunting time we have put together some guides and resources to support you along the journey.
Using our centres and services
Family Journeys wants you to feel okay – we understand some parents feel reluctant and worried.
We want to support you to feel safe – our staff will help you to make a safety plan, and help you to
talk to children, to explain the decisions that have been made.
The following guides can help you prepare for your visits at our Family Connections Centres:
Some of the children and young people who took part in our Peer Leadership Project put together this video to show you our centres. It also helps you understand what it could feel like when you visit.
Video guides
We made a series of videos with Johnson Legal Family Law in Edinburgh to help parents deal with different situations:
Why play is important
What is a child contact centre?
How can you help parents play with their children after a long period of time?
Worried about seeing your ex at the Child Contact Centre?
What is your top tip for a positive summer holiday?
Emotional Wellbeing and Support
Understanding how you and the people around you feel, and why, can be difficult. That is why we have created this series of podcasts to help with some of the common emotions people experience whilst going through a separation.
We have created a booklet to you can download to support your child’s wellbeing:
We also have 5 podcasts developed for Family Journeys by psychotherapist and trauma specialist Lorna Evans of the MindMovement. This can help with a range of emotions for your and your family:
How anxiety affects your mind and body
Tips to reduce your anxiety
How anger affects your mind and body
Tips to reduce your anger
Understanding emotions
There are other organisations who have developed some good resources to help with emotional wellbeing and mental health:
- Young Minds helps children and young people understand and talk about their feelings. They create resources for parents to better support their child’s mental health. Read their guide for parents on Divorce and Separation.
- ‘Because it’s for the Kids – from Children Beyond Dispute’ by Jennifer McIntosh PhD gives advice and support for building a secure parenting base after separation.
Mediation
If you’re considering mediation but aren’t familiar with the process, these YouTube introductions by Exeter University offer a great overview of what to expect and insights into how parents feel about their experience.
Considering Mediation? What you need to know
How Family Mediation Works: Kim’s story
How Family Mediation Helps: Eleanor’s story
Family Mediation What Happens? Wendy’s Story
Books for parents
Breaking Up without Falling Apart: The Essential Guide to Separation and Divorce in Scotland by Anne Hall Dick, 2011.
A really useful, readable guide about the process of separating in Scotland.
Available online here
Getting Your Children Through Divorce: A Parent’s Guide to Separation by Anne Hooper, 2005
A classic UK book offering advice, explanations, strategies and insights.
Helping Children Cope with Divorce by Edward Teyber, 2001
Advice for separating parents on what they can do to help their children to successfully adjust to separation.
How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk by Faber & Mazlish, 2001
How to build successful relationships with children within families, and how to manage family conflicts effectively.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House by Isolina Ricci, 1997
This book focuses on the experience of parents going through the divorce process, using helpful exercises, self-assessments and parenting apart.
How Separated and Divorced Parents can raise Happy and Secure Kids by Christina McGhee, 2011
Practical advice on how to help children adjust and thrive during and after separation and divorce by a renowned US Divorce coach.
The Guide for Separated Parents: Putting Children First by Karen & Nick Woodall, 2009
A practical and reassuring guide for separating parents on how to work towards co-operative parenting, written by UK authors.
The Truth about Children and Divorce by Robert Emery, 2006
This book combines research and practical experience to
Refer yourself or someone else
Complete the referral form if you or someone you know would like to access our services
Resources
There are many resources and organisations available to offer support.
FAQs
Will I have to see my ex-partner?
- No. If you do not feel comfortable seeing another parent/carer Family Journeys will stagger Family Connections arrival and departure times to ensure everyone feels safe, and their needs are respected. Within our mediation services we can offer shuttle mediation, either in person or online. This involves parents/carers being in different rooms and the mediator moving between. If you are attending our Parenting Apart programme, you will not be put in the same group as another family member (unless expressly requested).
Am I allowed to take photographs?
- As an organisation promoting positive relationships, capturing special moments is a normal aspect of nurturing positive connections. Please note however, this may be subject to certain conditions if a court order explicitly prohibits photographs, if there are child protection concerns or identified risks or if the child does not consent to having their photograph taken, their wishes will be respected. Prioritising the safety and consent of all parties involved is paramount.
Will there always be a staff member in playroom with my child?
- During supervised Family Connection sessions, a staff member will ALWAYS be present with your child. During supported Family Connection sessions, a staff member will be available for when a child or parent/family member may need them, and they will offer regular check ins to see if all is going well in the playroom.
Can I wait at Family Journeys whilst my child sees my ex-partner?
- Yes of course. We have relaxing parent/carer rooms for you to wait whilst your child is enjoying time in the playrooms. This can help you and your child feel more at ease in the early sessions. However, you may also wish to spend some time away from the venue and this is encouraged once your child feels comfortable coming to Family Journeys. Staff will always call you if your child needs you to return.
My court order was issued last month, why can’t I start immediately?
- At Family Journeys, we understand this is a stressful period for all, especially the child. We don’t want to delay but sometimes it takes a while to find a vacant slot in our venues that suits both you and your child. We also want to give your child and family every chance of success when coming to Family Journeys, therefore it is important that we start after a period of preparation. This preparation period will travel at the pace of the child and support everyone to get the most out of their time playing together in the hope of independent co-parenting solutions.
How long will it take after the intake meeting for contact to start?
- This is difficult to answer because it depends on your child’s readiness to meet. Sometimes we support the child with an extended preparation or involve the child in our All About Me service if they are struggling. Normally we would hope your first play session would be no longer than a month after your initial meeting with staff, but sometimes it can take longer.
I worry I can’t afford this. What can I do?
- If you are in receipt of benefits or earn below a certain threshold, you may be entitled to Scottish Legal Aid. You will need a solicitor to access these funds. If you are not entitled to Scottish Legal Aid and feel you will struggle to meet the costs, please get in touch with us directly to discuss how we can work out a payment plan that is affordable.
If I go on holiday, will I get into trouble?
- No. We will communicate this information to your ex-partner and solicitors, if applicable, and arrange a catch-up session where possible. The key here is being honest and planning ahead.
I can’t find a legal aid solicitor, what do I do?
- Although Family Journeys cannot specifically suggest a particular solicitor, we can provide you with a list of Scottish Legal Aid solicitors who you can contact.
My solicitor told me that they are no longer doing Legal Aid work. What do I do?
- Let Family Journeys know ASAP. It is possible the child’s other parent may be able to cover costs short term through their own legal aid. Family Journeys can help communicate this with your permission. It may be important for you to find another solicitor to represent you. During this period, we will not stop your child’s Family Connections time.
I am worried my ex-partner will find out where I live if they ask the children. Can you control what is said during a session?
- During supervised Family Connections sessions, our staff will be present to ensure you, and your children, are safe. Any leading questions thought to expose a restricted address will be stopped.
How can I access my child’s or my notes?
- You can acquire all notes retained on our information management system regarding yourself and/or the child you have legal rights and responsibilities for through a subject access request.
What happens if a parent or guardian arrives under the influence of substances?
- Family Journeys are unable to do any drug testing, but we do visual checks and monitor the persons behaviour. If staff detect that a person is under the influence or cannot look after the child, family time will be stopped. Family Journeys are an inclusive organisation, if a family is impacted by substance use Family Journeys can support to find appropriate solutions with the individual and family.