Mediation encourages healthy communication and conflict resolution.
Mediation is for everyone in your family – young people, parents, step parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. This support service enables people to have a safe space to discuss difficult things and reach a mutual agreement. This service is not just for adults, where needed we will speak separately with the children to ensure that their voice is heard and represented in these sessions.
What is meditation?
Mediation is supported communication between two parties.
At Family Journeys, mediation means that a trained, qualified mediator is able to support adults, such as the parents and/or grandparents, to reach agreement on family matters after separation. This includes when and how to connect with children.
Families may reach solutions after one mediation session or it may take several sessions.
Please note: Family Journeys does not offer legal advice. On matters of finances or property, we recommend you seek the help of a solicitor. Mediators can also provide a draft minute of agreement which then can be taken to solicitors to formalise.
Mediation can help parents avoid the pain and stress of legal processes.
Who is this suitable for?
Any relationship that needs supported communication.
- Our mediation is for families with children of any age.
- Parents may have had many different family arrangements: living together or apart, married, same sex partnerships, step-parents, and parents who have been absent for some time.
- Usually, mediation is for adults only. However, it can be useful for us to hear children’s views separately and then bring these to parents’ sessions.
- Grandparents may also benefit from mediation to find solutions to stay involved with grandchildren when parents have separated or are in conflict.
- Mediation is ideally face to face, but can also work online. We ensure either method is safe for both parents, with clear ground rules.
What to expect
Initial contact
You can contact us via phone, email or our website. We will ask you to complete a referral and confidentiality form. We can then contact the other person to see if they would like to mediate. When all forms are completed , an individual appointment will be organised to discuss the mediation.
We can also inform you of the range of services we can offer, and we can also signpost you to other services if you want this.
First Meeting
This meeting is for yourself to meet with your mediator, this meeting is usually about an hour. The mediator will usually ask for some background information on your situation and why you would like to mediate. They will discuss the mediation process with you and how best to offer the mediation. This may be in person, online, face to face or by shuttle (this is when each person is in a separate room/ space)
Mediation Sessions
Once each person has had their initial meeting and both agree to mediate, your mediator will arrange a mediation session. A mediation session is up to 1-1.5hrs or if shuttle it can be up to 2hrs. This can be online or in person. The number of mediation sessions is guided but what you need. It can be one session or a few sessions over a period of time.
Most mediations are both clients present with a mediator, however when both clients are not able to be in the same space, shuttle mediation is offered.
How much does it cost?
As a small organisation, our capacity to provide prompt and comprehensive support is only possible by charging for the important service we offer.
We aim to charge a fair and reasonable hourly professional rate which is inclusive of direct staff costs and overheads.
To explore whether you may be entitled to Legal Aid, please contact Citizens Advice for additional assistance.
Affordability and accessibility are important to us and therefore we welcome confidential payment discussions for those families who are not entitled to Legal Aid Funding.
Please note that no family will be excluded from service for financial reasons.
Pre-mediation session (required by all accessing mediation):
£105.20 per person, session/ hour
Mediation session:
£52.60 per person, session/ hour
Mediation summary report (for solicitors to formalise as minute of agreement):
£105.20 per parent (flat-fee)
Refer yourself or someone else
Complete the referral form if you or someone you know would like to access our services
Rob and Sian’s story
Rob and Sian (not their real names) were parents who had only been together for a year. They both approached the service separately to request support.
Both parents wanted their young child to have a relationship with his Dad, and for Dad to be an active parent, but this had not been possible due to Dad’s overseas work commitments.
Mum expressed concerns about his ability to parent and fears around the relationships with his extended family. During the mediation sessions mum was able to update dad on their son’s development.
The parents then agreed to weekly parenting text communication where photos could be shared. It was also agreed that they would temporarily use a Family Journeys playroom to support neutral, safe and attachment-based family connection sessions to allow the child to develop trust and reassurance before unsupported visits took place in the community.
“I know how hard everyone has been working to find a solution. And I’m happy to do whatever is needed to make it work. Again, thank you for all your help and hard work in this, it is truly appreciated.”
Parent
FAQs
Will I have to see my ex-partner?
- No. If you do not feel comfortable seeing another parent/carer Family Journeys will stagger Family Connections arrival and departure times to ensure everyone feels safe, and their needs are respected. Within our mediation services we can offer shuttle mediation, either in person or online. This involves parents/carers being in different rooms and the mediator moving between. If you are attending our Parenting Apart programme, you will not be put in the same group as another family member (unless expressly requested).
Am I allowed to take photographs?
- As an organisation promoting positive relationships, capturing special moments is a normal aspect of nurturing positive connections. Please note however, this may be subject to certain conditions if a court order explicitly prohibits photographs, if there are child protection concerns or identified risks or if the child does not consent to having their photograph taken, their wishes will be respected. Prioritising the safety and consent of all parties involved is paramount.
Will there always be a staff member in playroom with my child?
- During supervised Family Connection sessions, a staff member will ALWAYS be present with your child. During supported Family Connection sessions, a staff member will be available for when a child or parent/family member may need them, and they will offer regular check ins to see if all is going well in the playroom.
Can I wait at Family Journeys whilst my child sees my ex-partner?
- Yes of course. We have relaxing parent/carer rooms for you to wait whilst your child is enjoying time in the playrooms. This can help you and your child feel more at ease in the early sessions. However, you may also wish to spend some time away from the venue and this is encouraged once your child feels comfortable coming to Family Journeys. Staff will always call you if your child needs you to return.
My court order was issued last month, why can’t I start immediately?
- At Family Journeys, we understand this is a stressful period for all, especially the child. We don’t want to delay but sometimes it takes a while to find a vacant slot in our venues that suits both you and your child. We also want to give your child and family every chance of success when coming to Family Journeys, therefore it is important that we start after a period of preparation. This preparation period will travel at the pace of the child and support everyone to get the most out of their time playing together in the hope of independent co-parenting solutions.
How long will it take after the intake meeting for contact to start?
- This is difficult to answer because it depends on your child’s readiness to meet. Sometimes we support the child with an extended preparation or involve the child in our All About Me service if they are struggling. Normally we would hope your first play session would be no longer than a month after your initial meeting with staff, but sometimes it can take longer.
I worry I can’t afford this. What can I do?
- If you are in receipt of benefits or earn below a certain threshold, you may be entitled to Scottish Legal Aid. You will need a solicitor to access these funds. If you are not entitled to Scottish Legal Aid and feel you will struggle to meet the costs, please get in touch with us directly to discuss how we can work out a payment plan that is affordable.
If I go on holiday, will I get into trouble?
- No. We will communicate this information to your ex-partner and solicitors, if applicable, and arrange a catch-up session where possible. The key here is being honest and planning ahead.
I can’t find a legal aid solicitor, what do I do?
- Although Family Journeys cannot specifically suggest a particular solicitor, we can provide you with a list of Scottish Legal Aid solicitors who you can contact.
My solicitor told me that they are no longer doing Legal Aid work. What do I do?
- Let Family Journeys know ASAP. It is possible the child’s other parent may be able to cover costs short term through their own legal aid. Family Journeys can help communicate this with your permission. It may be important for you to find another solicitor to represent you. During this period, we will not stop your child’s Family Connections time.
I am worried my ex-partner will find out where I live if they ask the children. Can you control what is said during a session?
- During supervised Family Connections sessions, our staff will be present to ensure you, and your children, are safe. Any leading questions thought to expose a restricted address will be stopped.
How can I access my child’s or my notes?
- You can acquire all notes retained on our information management system regarding yourself and/or the child you have legal rights and responsibilities for through a subject access request.
What happens if a parent or guardian arrives under the influence of substances?
- Family Journeys are unable to do any drug testing, but we do visual checks and monitor the persons behaviour. If staff detect that a person is under the influence or cannot look after the child, family time will be stopped. Family Journeys are an inclusive organisation, if a family is impacted by substance use Family Journeys can support to find appropriate solutions with the individual and family.
Resources
If you are thinking of trying mediation but don’t know much about it, these YouTube introductions by Exeter University give a good overview about what happens, and how parents feel about their experience.
What is Mediation (University of Strathclyde Mediation Clinic
Considering Mediation? What you need to know
How Family Mediation Works: Kim’s story
How Family Mediation Helps: Eleanor’s story
Family Mediation What Happens? Wendy’s Story