No matter what your situation, there are many resources and organisations available to offer support.
All of these resources provide wonderful support. Ultimately, it’s up to you to choose which ones best meet your needs. We hope you find them helpful.
If you are in need a crisis and need immediate help please call 999 or 111 from any phone for assistance.
Resources for emotional help and support
You can use these resources to help you understand how you are feeling, and why. They can also help you to talk to other people about these important feelings.
The emotional impact: 5 podcasts on our YouTube channel help with some of the common emotions people experience when going through separation. They were developed for Family Journeys by psychotherapist and trauma specialist Lorna Evans of the MindMovement.
There are podcasts on anxiety, anger and understanding emotions.
Podcast Episode 2: Tips to reduce your anxiety
Podcast Episode 3: How anger affects your mind and body
Podcast Episode 4: Tips to reduce your anger
Podcast Episode 5: Understanding emotion
We have created this booklet you can download to help you support your child’s emotional wellbeing:
Young Minds helps children and young people understand and talk about their feelings. They create resources for parents to better support their child’s mental health. Read their guide for parents on Divorce and Separation.
‘Because it’s for the Kids – from Children Beyond Dispute’ by Jennifer McIntosh PhD gives advice and support for building a secure parenting base after separation.
The UNCRC Rights of the Child Booklet: Your Guide to Children’s Rights and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. A booklet for parents, carers and family members.
Plan 24-30: Scotland’s Route map to #KeepThePromise by 2030
Resources about Mediation
If you’re considering mediation but aren’t familiar with the process, these YouTube introductions by Exeter University offer a great overview of what to expect and insights into how parents feel about their experience.
Considering Mediation? What you need to know
How Family Mediation Works: Kim’s story
How Family Mediation Helps: Eleanor’s story
Family Mediation What Happens? Wendy’s Story
Apps for practical support
Did you know there are many apps designed to help parents manage arrangements for their children and other matters? These apps ensure that both parents can share and communicate important information effectively. Some parents find this helps reduce stress and misunderstanding.
We’re not promoting these apps – using them and deciding which one is best for you is your choice. But we’re interested to see what you think of them or any we have missed:
Resources from other organisations
There are lots of excellent organisations out there with resources to download and use. Here are a couple that we use with our families.
Relationship Scotland
We are proud to be a member of Relationship Scotland. They do fantastic work with people across Scotland and have produced some really useful resources such as this leaflet – Listening to Your Children’s Views:
Shared Parenting Scotland
Our friends at Shared Parenting Scotland have put together some helpful information for both parents and practitioners.
Shared Parenting Scotland Leaflet
Training courses for parents
Sharing my parents research
Relationships Australia
As a leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families and communities, the team at Relationships Australia have put together this simple booklet for people going through separation:
Other charities that offer support
The following organisations are also available to help you.
Whenever possible, we gain personal knowledge of any service before making referrals or signposting parents and children for additional support.
AMIS (Abused Men in Scotland)
The leading charity for men who experience domestic abuse. Operate a national helpline, website and training services.
Helps Men.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians
Tel: 0131 447 7449
Bright Light
Bright Light is the largest provider of relationship counselling in Scotland, offering a comprehensive range of services throughout the Lothians.
Tel: 0131 556 1527
Carers of East Lothian
Supports all adults in a caring situation in East Lothian to get information and services to help their individual caring role, enhance their wellbeing, and strengthen their collective voice to improve services.
Helps Men, Women and Children.
Based in East Lothian.
Tel: 0131 665 0135
Cedar Network (Children Experiencing Domestic Abuse recovery)
Work with children, young people and mothers who have suffered domestic abuse. Run 12 week group sessions for children and mothers.
Helps Children.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Tel: 07425603936
Children 1st Parent Line
Support for parents and families.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Freephone: 08000 28 22 33
Clan Childlaw
Delivers free, confidential legal advice and representation in relation to children and young persons.
Also provides free information and guidance about children’s rights and the law to family members, carers and adults who work with children or young people in Scotland.
Helps Men, Women and Children.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Freephone: 0808 129 0522
Cyrenians
Services are aimed at tackling the causes and consequences of homelessness.
Helps Men, Women, and Children.
Based in Edinburgh.
Tel: 0131 475 2354
Dads Rock
Dads Rock, is a third-sector organisation that has been running for over 10 years. They provide valuable resources for supporting the whole family in a father-inclusive way.
Helps Dads and children.
Tel: 07807 498709
Dads Work
A community project in East Lothian working with fathers and male care givers. It provides support groups, positive parenting classes, workshops on the role of fathers, home visits, trips and outings for fathers and their children.
Supports Men.
Based in East Lothian.
Tel: 01875 898 283
EDDACS (Edinburgh Domestic Abuse Court Support Service)
Part of Edinburgh Women’s Aid
Helps Women
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians
Tel: 0131 315 8122
Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre
We offer free and confidential emotional and practical support, information and advocacy to women, all members of the trans community, non-binary people and young people aged 12-18 in Edinburgh, East and Midlothian, who have experienced sexual violence at any time in their lives. This includes, rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, childhood sexual abuse and commercial sexual exploitation.
Helps Women and Children over 12yr+.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Freephone: 0808 08010302
Edinburgh Womens Aid
Provides support for women, children and young people experiencing or at risk of domestic abuse. Temporary accommodation, housing, risk assessment, legal advice, mental health, financial advice, support from other services.
Helps Women and Children.
Based in Edinburgh
Tel: 0131 315 8110
Edinburgh Young Carers
Provides support and respite for children and young people in a caring role for parents, siblings aged 5yrs-25yrs.
Helps children.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Tel: 0131 475 2322
First Step
Aims to provide opportunities for local families with young children to make positive choices in their lives by providing supportive centre-based and outreach activities which encourage parents and children to develop their self-esteem, confidence and skills.
Helps Parents and Children.
Based in East Lothian (Musselburgh).
Tel: 0131 665 0848
Fostering Compassion
Provide workshops supporting children affected by abuse and neglect. They use animals and nature themes to reverse the effects of abuse.
Helps Children.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Tel: 01875 393102
Four Square
Acharity which supports people who are homeless or at risk of becoming homeless. Hostel accommodation and refuge. Mental health support. Help with employment and training.
Helps Men, Women and Children.
Based in Edinburgh.
Tel: 0131 557 7900
Healed Scars Trauma and Abuse Recovery (HSTAR)
This organisation offers up to 8 hours free trauma counselling for women aged 16 and over, who are residing in Scotland.
Helps women over 16.
Contact online.
Home Link Family Support
Helps support families with children under 5 years when life can appear challenging.
Offers support, advice, company and home visits.
Helps Parents with Children under 5.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Tel: 0131 661 0890
Home Start
A local network of trained volunteers and expert support helping families with children through challenging times. Parenting, isolation, finance, mental health, separation.
Helps Parents and Children
Based in Edinburgh
Tel: 0131 378 0081
LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline
Supports LGBT victims of domestic abuse.
Helps Men and Women across the UK.
Freephone: 0800 999 5428
Mankind Initiative
Providing support for male victims of domestic abuse and violence.
Helps men from across the UK.
Freephone: 0808 800 1170
Men’s Advice Line
A helpline for men experiencing domestic abuse.
Helps Men from across the UK.
Freephone: 0808 8010327
One Parent Families
Aims to support and advise single parent families on all matters of life.
Helps Parents and Children.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Freephone: 0808 801 0323
Place2Be
A charity focused on improving children’s and young people’s mental health. Provides counselling and advice.
Helps Children.
Based in Edinburgh.
Tel: 020 7932 5500
Scotland’s Domestic Abuse & Forced Marriage Helpline
Our helpline is here to support anyone experiencing domestic abuse or forced marriage, as well as their family members, friends, colleagues and professionals who support them. We provide a confidential, sensitive service to anyone who calls us.
Online chat
Text/WhatsApp: 074012888595
Freephone: 0800 027 1234
Shakti Women’s Aid
Provide support to migrant survivors of domestic abuse.
Helps Women and Children.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians
Tel: 0131 475 2399
Shared Parenting Scotland
Support regarding children’s needs during separation and how to share parenting efficiently. Gives resources and information.
Helps parents.
Based in Edinburgh.
Tel: 0131 557 2440
Shelter Scotland
Advice and information about Homelessness and Housing across Scotland.
Online chat
Freephone: 0808 800 4444
Simpson House
A confidential recovery and counselling service for people affected by their own or another’s drug use. Recovery support groups, recovery one to one appointments, and work with children and young people affected by parental substance use.
Helps Men, Women and Children
Based in Edinburgh
Tel: 0131 225 6028
Street Work (Simon Community)
Making it easy for people to avoid, resolve and recover from homelessness.
Helps Men and Women.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians.
Freephone: 0808 178 2323
Sure Start
Targeted to families in deprived areas with young children. Gives help and advice on child and family health, emotional health, parenting, money, training and employment.
Helps Parents and Children.
Based in Mid and East Lothian,
Tel: 0131 654 0489
The Ripple Project
Working with the communities of Restalrig, Lochend & Craigentinny, which are amongst the most deprived in Scotland. Supports the community with the challenges that poverty, health and social inequalities bring.
Helps Men, Women and Children.
Based in Edinburgh.
Tel: 0131 554 0422
The Rock Trust
Scotland’s youth-specific homelessness charity.
Helps Children.
Based in Edinburgh.
Tel: 0131 557 4059
The Spark
Specialise in online counselling and telephone counselling services. They also operate the Relationship Helpline – a free relationship support line for people struggling with relationship problems. They can also refer you to free counselling funded by The Scottish Government.
Helps Men, Women and Children.
Based online and on the phone.
Freephone: 0808 802 2088
Trauma Healing Together
They offer free help to anyone aged 18 and over and currently living in Scotland who has experienced trauma. You do not need an official diagnosis and can self-refer via their website. They aim to see clients as soon as possible.
Works with Adults.
Based in Perth, works across Scotland.
Tel: 01738 248283
Vocal
Supports and empowers unpaid carers in Edinburgh and Midlothian through individual support, information, training and access to services.
Helps Men, Women and Children.
Based in Midlothian.
Tel: 0131 663 6869
Edinburgh Branch of Vocal: 0131 622 6666
withyou
WithYou in Scotland helps Men, Women and Children with challenges relating to drugs, alcohol and mental health.
Based in Edinburgh & Lothians
Tel: 0131 201 2931
Online chat
Women’s Aid East & Midlothian
Provide support, information and temporary accommodation to all women, children and young people who have experienced abuse.
Helps Women and Children.
Based in East Edinburgh & Midlothian.
Tel: 0131 561 5800
Women’s Aid West Lothian
Provide safe, temporary accommodation to women, children and young people who have experienced domestic abuse.
Helps Women and Children.
Based in West Lothians.
Tel: 01506 4113721
Books for children
Here are some great books that you can read to help you when you are not at one of our centres. These books can help you understand what you are feeling, and why. They can also help you speak to you parents and family about those feelings.
You can find these books at your school or local library, bookstores or online as e-books and audio books.
It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear by Vicki Lansky, 1998
This is a ‘read together’ book for parents and young children (3 to 7 years) during divorce that helps to explain words and feelings.
Dinosaur’s Divorce by Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown, 1988
For children aged 4 to 8 years, this book uses cartoon dinosaur characters to cover topics such as why parents divorce, what will happen to me, living in two homes.
The Huge Bag of Worries by Ironside and Rodgers, 2011
A popular story book for younger children about a little girl who finds she is carrying an ever growing ‘bag of worries’. She finds there are lots of different ways of dealing with or sharing worries.
Two of Everything by Babette Cole, 2000
This is a ‘funny’ book for children, from 6 to 12 years, that tells the story of parents being ‘unmarried’.
When Mom and Dad Separate by Marge Heegaard, 1991
A workbook for children (5 to 12 years) to work out their feelings about separation and divorce.
The Suitcase Kid by Jacqueline Wilson, 2006
This is a well told story about a girl and her rabbit adjusting to life being a kid with divorced parents. For ages 8 to teens.
It’s an Aardvark eat Turtle World by Paula Danzinger, 2007
An entertaining read about two teenagers who were best friends and become sisters after their parents fall in love, for children 10 to 12 years.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House for Kids by Isolina Ricci, 2006
Designed for children 10 years and older, this book helps children to learn about how their family is changing and develop important life skills.
It’s not the End of the World by Judy Blume, 2011
This is a story about divorce and its’ impact on family life, from a teenage perspective. Written with insight, sensitivity and honesty for ages 10 to teens.
What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce?: A Survival Guide for Kids by Kent Winchester and Roberta Beyer, 2002
Written to and for kids, in a simple question-and-answer format, this book is a valuable tool for helping children cope with separation.
Books for parents
Breaking Up without Falling Apart: The Essential Guide to Separation and Divorce in Scotland by Anne Hall Dick, 2011.
A really useful, readable guide about the process of separating in Scotland.
Available online here
Getting Your Children Through Divorce: A Parent’s Guide to Separation by Anne Hooper, 2005
A classic UK book offering advice, explanations, strategies and insights.
Helping Children Cope with Divorce by Edward Teyber, 2001
Advice for separating parents on what they can do to help their children to successfully adjust to separation.
How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk by Faber & Mazlish, 2001
How to build successful relationships with children within families, and how to manage family conflicts effectively.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House by Isolina Ricci, 1997
This book focuses on the experience of parents going through the divorce process, using helpful exercises, self-assessments and parenting apart.
How Separated and Divorced Parents can raise Happy and Secure Kids by Christina McGhee, 2011
Practical advice on how to help children adjust and thrive during and after separation and divorce by a renowned US Divorce coach.
The Guide for Separated Parents: Putting Children First by Karen & Nick Woodall, 2009
A practical and reassuring guide for separating parents on how to work towards co-operative parenting, written by UK authors.
The Truth about Children and Divorce by Robert Emery, 2006
This book combines research and practical experience to
FAQs
Will I have to see my ex-partner?
- No. If you do not feel comfortable seeing another parent/carer Family Journeys will stagger Family Connections arrival and departure times to ensure everyone feels safe, and their needs are respected. Within our mediation services we can offer shuttle mediation, either in person or online. This involves parents/carers being in different rooms and the mediator moving between. If you are attending our Parenting Apart programme, you will not be put in the same group as another family member (unless expressly requested).
Am I allowed to take photographs?
- As an organisation promoting positive relationships, capturing special moments is a normal aspect of nurturing positive connections. Please note however, this may be subject to certain conditions if a court order explicitly prohibits photographs, if there are child protection concerns or identified risks or if the child does not consent to having their photograph taken, their wishes will be respected. Prioritising the safety and consent of all parties involved is paramount.
Will there always be a staff member in playroom with my child?
- During supervised Family Connection sessions, a staff member will ALWAYS be present with your child. During supported Family Connection sessions, a staff member will be available for when a child or parent/family member may need them, and they will offer regular check ins to see if all is going well in the playroom.
Can I wait at Family Journeys whilst my child sees my ex-partner?
- Yes of course. We have relaxing parent/carer rooms for you to wait whilst your child is enjoying time in the playrooms. This can help you and your child feel more at ease in the early sessions. However, you may also wish to spend some time away from the venue and this is encouraged once your child feels comfortable coming to Family Journeys. Staff will always call you if your child needs you to return.
My court order was issued last month, why can’t I start immediately?
- At Family Journeys, we understand this is a stressful period for all, especially the child. We don’t want to delay but sometimes it takes a while to find a vacant slot in our venues that suits both you and your child. We also want to give your child and family every chance of success when coming to Family Journeys, therefore it is important that we start after a period of preparation. This preparation period will travel at the pace of the child and support everyone to get the most out of their time playing together in the hope of independent co-parenting solutions.
How long will it take after the intake meeting for contact to start?
- This is difficult to answer because it depends on your child’s readiness to meet. Sometimes we support the child with an extended preparation or involve the child in our All About Me service if they are struggling. Normally we would hope your first play session would be no longer than a month after your initial meeting with staff, but sometimes it can take longer.
I worry I can’t afford this. What can I do?
- If you are in receipt of benefits or earn below a certain threshold, you may be entitled to Scottish Legal Aid. You will need a solicitor to access these funds. If you are not entitled to Scottish Legal Aid and feel you will struggle to meet the costs, please get in touch with us directly to discuss how we can work out a payment plan that is affordable.
If I go on holiday, will I get into trouble?
- No. We will communicate this information to your ex-partner and solicitors, if applicable, and arrange a catch-up session where possible. The key here is being honest and planning ahead.
I can’t find a legal aid solicitor, what do I do?
- Although Family Journeys cannot specifically suggest a particular solicitor, we can provide you with a list of Scottish Legal Aid solicitors who you can contact.
My solicitor told me that they are no longer doing Legal Aid work. What do I do?
- Let Family Journeys know ASAP. It is possible the child’s other parent may be able to cover costs short term through their own legal aid. Family Journeys can help communicate this with your permission. It may be important for you to find another solicitor to represent you. During this period, we will not stop your child’s Family Connections time.
I am worried my ex-partner will find out where I live if they ask the children. Can you control what is said during a session?
- During supervised Family Connections sessions, our staff will be present to ensure you, and your children, are safe. Any leading questions thought to expose a restricted address will be stopped.
How can I access my child’s or my notes?
- You can acquire all notes retained on our information management system regarding yourself and/or the child you have legal rights and responsibilities for through a subject access request.
What happens if a parent or guardian arrives under the influence of substances?
- Family Journeys are unable to do any drug testing, but we do visual checks and monitor the persons behaviour. If staff detect that a person is under the influence or cannot look after the child, family time will be stopped. Family Journeys are an inclusive organisation, if a family is impacted by substance use Family Journeys can support to find appropriate solutions with the individual and family.
Our services
Our services reduce the need for legal intervention, enhance emotional well-being, and improve life outcomes.
Support us
There are many ways your vital support can make a difference, whether through donations, volunteering, or other contributions.